Love, Expired

I believe in love. It just doesn't last.
"Cuma 4 tahun. 5 tahunlah kalau dikuat2in."

"Makanya kita menikah. Biar ketika cinta sudah pudar, ada komitmen yang mengikat kita."

"Cinta itu gak pudar, cuma berubah bentuk menjadi sesuatu yang lebih tenang, lebih nyaman..."

"Lebih membosankan. Gue bertahan ya gak mau nyakitin dia aja."

"The best way to survive life and live it to the fullest is to swap partners every 4 to 5 years."

"I love you too much. I want us to be friends. Kalau kita pacaran, paling 4 tahun lagi kita bosen dan akhirnya musuhan."
"I'd rather be your enemy than be your best fucking friend. So please give me my 4 years, then I would be the happiest enemy you have."

"I love you too much. I don't wanna lose my friend."

"I can't promise you forever but I know I can love you for 4 years."

"What if after 4 years and we're still in love?"

"Then I am open for another 4 years. But the interest rate will be different, honey."

"I'll try hard to be able to afford you for the next 4 years."

"Try hard. Love is not for granted."

"Love is not for pussy. Only the brave one can stay in love ever after."

"I would love to be the producer. i wish it was like a film, can we remake it?"

"No. I'm not in love with her anymore. Our 4 years was up. about love, expired."

Love, expired.

So before it's gone, I will put it into the big screen.

"Would you be my wife for 3 years and 9 months?"

Somehow it's enough

jadi mau sampai kapan lo mau kaya gini?

sampai lo tua and gak laku-laku? waktu gak bakal nunggu lo, sayang. Banyak yang lain yang dengan senang hati jadi lo.

Lo gak bosen ya nyanyi lagu mendayu-dayu? Minjem lirik orang buat bilang sayang? Bahkan lo gak bikin lirik lo sendiri. Katanya mau jadi penulis?

Lo gak capek mengeluh? Berasa masalah lo paling berat sedunia? Lo tau buruh2 demo di jalan tol buat apa? dua ratus ribu , neng.

Katanya lo orang pintar dengan otak bersinar. mana? mana? emang cuma butuh semangat, bukan pintar.

ini saatnya perang, biar setan dibungkam.

hari ini, bahagialah dengan jatah yang udah diberikan buat lo. paling besok semua kiamat. gak ada yang peduli lo mau jadi apa.

tenang. gak usah ngotot. lo ga akan menang juga. ujung-ujungnya semua debu.

but you know what?

Somehow it's enough.

Back Home

i'm back.

broken yet stronger.
defeated yet grateful.

how do you walk when you feel unworthy?

it's not about you, honey.

what?

it's not about you. so stand up and cut the nonsense. you have a road to finish.

but it is about me. who would ever want to see me?

it's not you. it's themselves they will see.

still i feel unworthy.

you are.

then why would they see ?

because it's not about you. it's about us. our fear. our love. our loss. our dream.

I still feel unworthy. I'm broken.

but you are still alive, with your hand and feet. now stand up and type.

what should i type?

anything but this unworthy shit.

promise me it won't be about me?

it's not about you.

i love you.

yeah yeah yeah.... now shut up and type. no drama for february. we have a lot of things to do.

i love you.

*sigh... i love you more.

Kuat

Hari ini gue memutuskan, gue kuat.

Gak akan lagi gue lemah. Gak mau lagi gue disetir orang.
Gak lo.
Gak dia.
Gak juga devil.


Gak gue banget sih lemah-lemah.

Gak usah doain gue. Ntar gue yang doain kalian biar kalian semua tenang. Gak usah panik. Gak akan lagi gue jatuh.

Gak kan gue bawa-bawa Tuhan. Terlalu sering Dia jadi pembenaran penakut-penakut buat gak berani bertanggung jawab atas kesalahan sendiri.

Gak usah bawa-bawa devil. Terlalu sering doi disalahkan atas kelakuan gue.

Gue yang devil.

Gak akan gue minta maaf. Gue emang devil, tapi lo juga. Jadi sesama devil gak usah saling menyalahkan.
 

Makasih atas nasehat ke gue. tapi gue ngerasa lo terlalu baik buat rela ngurusin masalah anak kecil kaya gue.

You have bigger purposes than me. Don't make me your excuses.

Hari ini gue mau kuat.

Hari ini gue kuat.

Mama's Pray

ketika ayat-ayat cuma bikin muak
nasehat buat tambah berontak
kata-kata yang dipanjatkan diam-diam
menyatakan kuasanya

dalam hening
si bebal terisak minta ampun
dalam hening
dia kembali bahagia

I need more of your silent prayer
to keep this love beautiful

I love you, mama.

Lagu Sendu*

Orang yang menyanyikan nyanyian untuk hati yang sedih
adalah seperti orang yang menanggalkan baju di musim dingin
dan seperti cuka pada luka

Jadi di hari tanpa nada ini
Mari kita nikmati luka
Bersama tawa dan sedikit air mata
Biarkan waktu pelan-pelan menutupnya

Dan jika suatu hari nanti ia kembali menganga
Lihat langit dan syukuri sinarnya

I'm yours.